Its Never That Serious

God bless the internet for we shall find so much information than we would ever find in a library of books in one day, over lunch break. Yes it is shrinking our attention span but we just don’t care because it is part of evolution anyway, right?

The web and blogosphere has created a world where everyone is given a chance to share their views and it is also a platform for individuals to hone their skills including others that are not so useful. We have sites upon sites that have what seems to be advise and some is just plain brainwashing (according to me) and shrinking peoples esteems.

There are sites that teach you how to be a better person, how to succeed, how to avoid drama (somebody find Solange), how not to suck at EFGHIJ, how who’s and who’s behave in a certain way to stay at the top, how to fake it, when to wake up, how to become important, 50 things to do before you sleep, 17 things that distinguish you from a moron, 34 reasons you are not successful yet 5 reasons you are still single, how to I-do-not-know-what-I'm-trying-to-cluster-here, and so much more.  You get my drift though.

When you compare your life to what the article says, at times it makes you feel good, at times it makes you feel like you have to work some things in your life. Which could be true. But who taught us to hate the people we are? Have we become that desperate to seek approval from faceless people? Do we need strangers to tell us we should not bend over backwards for anyone? Who told you there is something wrong with where you are in your life and who you are?

Here's an example; How to keep a man/woman. Read that again. Is a significant other an antique? I find that shallow (for lack of a better word) on so many levels and I'm not even judging just think about it. Is it keeping him in a bottle like a genie or what exactly does that mean? Let me get you my two cents, if someone is willing to be with you, they can stay and if they want to leave let them do so. It is a free country after all. A relationship is  not a miracle, it needs work just like everything. A life with goals is a task altogether, and if you have motive you will need to accomplish, not kill yourself trying to change, it is never that serious.That is why people change but really it is because they have stopped working to impress the other like it happened in the dating phase- which is a story for another day.

I can tell you for free that anyone who wants to be with an emotionally stable person; do not give them mixed signals or feelings. Get it together and decide. Business of being there one day and the other you have vanished then show up like you never left makes me want to lose my mind. Call me emotional but that’s just how I think it should be. Be brave enough to keep it going or tell it in black and white that it just won’t work.

If you love someone, be with them, if you do not want to be with someone- end it gracefully, if you want something, ask for it. You do not need nobody to tell you how to keep what in check. It’s never that serious; Life is too short to complicate things already.

Music Review (II)

Whoever said songs do not talk to people was dead wrong. I am a music fanatic although I can get a little choosy. My radio is always on and I survive through flipping through radio stations like I'm switching lanes or something. Id say few songs make me feel "some typa way."  Lemme cut straight to the chase:

1. Sevyn Streeter: Wont Stop ft Chris Brown

Everything about this song just talks to me, the beats, tempo, lyrics, Chris Brown (uuuh child), Sevyn (no homo) the dancers, the scene, the TDH in there and all sorts of things. Won me over. I will not even lie to you.

2. Jhene Aiko ft Childish Gambino Bed Peace

Maybe I don't get the drift but this song is about everything except Bed and Peace. Lol. Its poetic and real at the same time. Lets just say people are talented. Jhene sings her heart out without flinching a muscle and Gambino sounds so good without looking like he though long and hard to come up with lyrics. I wouldn't believe if the two said they are working their behinds off. Thats what we call "music to my ears." 

3. Britney Spears - Perfume
Maybe its the way it starts or its the pianos at the beggining, whatever it is, i love it. First heard it on a Saturday morning and in my sleepy state i just had to fumble in the beddings for my phone and shazam the damn jam!! Guess what, yeah, it was on repeat for the longest time ever. I like the way you expect her to hit a high note in the bridge and she goes all mellow.

4.Clean Bandit - Rather Be ft Jess Glynne

Here we go again with the beginning of songs. I fell in love with it the moment it started playing. Are those violins or what at the beginning? I think they are violins. How in love am I with that song? I however disagree with the video, I cant watch it on mute (that's how I tell good videos from bad ones by the way). 

Just had to mention a few, I have long lists of these songs. They vary from time to time. What about you? Who feels the same about the above?

Movie Review: Spring Breakers

Spring Breakers (2013)

Cast: Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens and some other people. (rolls eyes)

Writer and Director: Harmony Korine

Synopsis: Four childhood friends; now in campus would like to go for a spring-break vacation. They have been saving up for a while, but do not have enough money by the time spring break arrives. They decide to rob a restaurant for money for their spring-break trip.

 They get arrested at a party that was full of orgy-like tendencies drinking, despicable games, drugs and everything else you can imagine teenagers do in the name of having fun. Alien (James Franco) who is an underground rapper and drug dealer bails them out. Since they have no money on them, they have no choice but to follow the guy around.

Review: Never have I ever wanted to share my two cents on a movie so bad! What a waste of great talent, attention grabbing title (If that exists), and a whole 90 minutes. I first saw the trailer last year then forgot all about it until “spring break” Thing that drew me most into watching is Selena Gomez. God knows how much of a die-hard fan of hers I am. I figured, if Selena is featured it should be a good movie.

Thumbs up: Great movie title, Selena and Ashley. Good picture quality, okay music selection.

Thumbs down: Unnecessary elongated scenes, exaggerated effects, irrelevant speech, and lack of a story line.

Being In your 20's

If you are a keen follower of this blog (I hope there is someone else besides me) you have seen the feature on quarter life crisis I did a while back here. I found this on  This is Ess and thought id share. It has poetically expressed what I did and used a different approach which I kinda like.

Being in your twenties...

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start

realizing that there are many things about yourself that

you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling

insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,

but then get scared because you barely know where you

are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,

maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close

to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met,

and the people you have lost touch with are some of the

most important ones. What you don't recognize is that

they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty,

mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what

you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are

looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have

to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions

have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and

find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly

you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life

and are constantly adding things to your list of what is

acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure

and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You

feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is

the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear

life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and

further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where

you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you

loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and

wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that

you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love

someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out

why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a

bad person. You want to settle down for good because

now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting

wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You

begin to think a companion for life is better than a

hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind

standing tall for that special someone which otherwise

you had never thought of until now.

You go through the same emotions and questions over

and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics

because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry

about loans, money, the future and making a life for

yourself... and while winning the race would be great,

right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this

relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of

times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing

out. 

We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".

Hope you enjoyed. 

Thank you

There’s always something to be thankful for and today I want is to be thankful for the year that God has let me see. It is not a guarantee that I’d see this day but He let me either way and that is what I call a blessing.

One person who never forgets my birthday is my father; it still leaves me tear-jerked, he called very early to wish me a happy birthday and I do not take that for granted.  He always thinks I’m groggy from crying (I was a cry baby most of the time he came to see me in boarding school back in Primary) whenever I sound like I’m asleep. Love you to bits pops, you are the best.

 I’d also like to be grateful for those who spared their time to be with me and those who made the effort to wish me a happy birthday indeed it has been a happy one.

To you reading this post, gracias; for stopping by, much appreciation.

Of Failure, Dreams and Works.

Another lot of hopeful candidates with valid dreams received their results this Monday. There are those who did great getting everyone marvelling at their excellence, the ones who got blinded with cameras on their grill and getting lifted shoulder high. They are the ones being used as a comparative in homes but hey, who wouldn't be proud? The future financial engineers, scientists et al.

However they are not the ones who caught my eye. I would like to talk about those who switched off their phones (if they have any) and slept hoping they would wake up to better results. Often, that’s when the wave of regret hits you. You are suddenly aware of the wasted years of worthless rebellion in the name of having fun and YOLO. Who knew it would shut so many doors, right?

Surely the Lord works in mysterious ways. The news was however shadowed with Lupita fever which I’d call a blessing in disguise in this case. The looming vibe after The Academy Awards seems to be discouraging dumping books and following dreams. It is a good thing to have dreams; I mean what would we be and where would some of us be if not for them? There has to be strategy and approach to it than the dream itself. It is all in the planning because if you are beaten down seven times you get up eight and that is exactly what we need to recognize and emphasize whichever career path we choose.

Lupita was in college furthering her studies and was three weeks shy of graduating. Got that? She did not drop out of school or just sit and wait. She was also featured in Shuga 1 among other projects and she was good at what she did. She was not fixed because she knew people who knew people but she did show up to grab the opportunities.

 What people on the outside don’t see in the glam, prestige and victory is the amount of time, toil, resilience and passion invested. If we want to be something, and that includes anything legit, we need not sit and tweak our dreams all day legs thrown up in the air. Working tirelessly and not losing the focus on the prize has to be the ritual you subscribe to in that journey. Funny thing is, she said she did not grow up watching the Academy Awards, meaning her drive came from zeal and success, not fame thirst. 

She turned 31 on 1^st of March just so you know. She did not feel too old to chase her dream neither did she let it take a back seat because she is from Africa. so hey, wherever you are from,your dreams are still valid; if you work for them.

The Pride of Kenya.

Anyone on social media can tell you how flooded their timelines are with Lupita News. I am one of those people who are thrilled that a Kenyan girl (forget where she was born) and #teamDarkSkin to be precise bagged that golden statue against big names like Jennifer Lawrence et al. 

Lupita Showing off her statue on stage.

Lupita Nyong'o  bagged herself the first Academy Award for best supporting actress in her role as Patsey in 12 Years a slave, She has taken  home the same award at the Screen Actors Guild awards which I hear is like a Mini-Oscar accolade. She has also won the Broadcast Film Critics Assn. Award for the role, as well as a number of regional tributes from critics in Austin, Chicago, Los Angeles, London, Phoenix and I think it is allowed if we lose count there. Nyong'o was three weeks shy of graduating from Yale Drama School when she was cast by McQueen.

A toon version of our girl stunning in Nairobi Blue baby!!!

I heard it on radio when I was leaving the house in the morning. Actually I was very excited I half expected someone to spring out of nowhere in traffic and entertain us with a happy dance. It could not be me since I am not as brave as our Sirkal brothers but still I would've loved to see something, anything. A flash-mob even. Don't mind me, I watch too many movies.

Everyone  was wishing her the best before the show commenced but the one that stood out for me was Mr. President getting in touch with the youngins in all the fields of work.  This is a summary of what he put up on the presidential website “Lupita’s accomplishment testifies not only to her stupendous talent, but also determination and a willingness to go that extra mile which success unfailingly demands. It is our intention that Lupita becomes the first of an endless line of Oscar nominees and winners from Africa and Kenya. I therefore wish Lupita and her proud family all the best tonight. May this be the beginning of many splendid achievements.”

Her acceptance speech was tear-jerking and I will not apologize for getting carried away with the wave of emotion in her tone (and isn’t she eloquent). “Thank you to the Academy for this incredible recognition. It doesn’t escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else’s. And so I want to salute the spirit of Patsey for her guidance. And for Solomon, thank you for telling her story and your own. When I look down at this golden statue, may it remind me and every little child that no matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.”

I am forever inspired as a village girl myself to aim higher and one thing I this whole thing today affirms us of is the golden statue doesn’t discriminate and so does success. The people who toil for their dreams eventually have their big breaks and this is more of a ticket straight to the glitz and glam.

Your faith is in your ability to succeed; hard-work and humility will take you places. Truly Lupitas dreams were valid and she made them a reality by going for what she believes in.  *insertLuoAccent* #Giniwasekao!!! Thoo!

Doing the  happy dance  with Pharell  during his Performance.

And a collection of what Lupita wore on the red carpet over time.

When the year started out I promised myself that I will write a blog post every waking day; no matter how cringe worthy it could be. But look at me. Two months into the year with one post I shabbily drafted.

Reason (read excuse) number one that I do not yet have a 20^th post this year is that I am a perfectionist. You should see my draft book. I have summaries upon summaries upon summaries of articles that I have told myself that I am going to research on. It sits in there as if it’s meant to structure itself into something meaningful. Then over time I lose the fire. It’s a habit I’m trying to tame though. I don’t just rumble on because at times I visit my older posts and I see why editors reject my work. It’s not even funny. I will not apologize to being a perfectionist though.

When I say I’m going to research on something, I do. Most of the time. The whole thing turns into a rolling ball of creativity and I tell myself ‘this can be developed into a novel or short story’ and leave it for further development.

 It made me realize I have a problem summarizing, but there is too much information I want to put out there regardless. At times it stays in my folders till it’s stale (like a post meant for valentines –s.m.h). We all have that thing we put away. Unfortunately, I have realized all the above reasons I have given are actually excuses.

I have made a pact with myself that each week I shall try and get out all that I can. As an aspiring writer I need to get out all the bad writings. In other words, practice makes perfect. Whatever art you are sitting on, push yourself harder, it pays. Enjoy your weekend. xx

  

On this 98th day of January, I’d like to assume all of you reading this are doing just fine and by January next year you would have planned better.  If not, maybe you are trying to drag yourself past all the negative energy that make the month sound worse than it already is. The month has decided to stretch itself further than we are used to. How can a single month have 5 weeks, with days most spread out on working days! At least its coming to an end.

That's the thing with life, nothing in it is an emergency, but being the procrastinators we are, we will always get caught under the January spell. And when people talk about it like it is a plague, believe me; little by little it will become the monster and the plague haunting you for days on end.  Ever heard of it’s all in the mind? It is true and I shall testify from experience. When you believe there is nothing in your account when you have little or enough to take you through, that money will disappear so fast from your account you will request for statements everyday; which costs money either way.

Technically, you get just about the same amount of salary you get every month or maybe even a bonus. Then we get a little too excited with the jolly season. I think you should earn the whole holiday experience. In November, take yourself through your income and your expenditure and look at what you have saved then see how much partying you can afford. Maybe if we gift ourselves accordingly we will not be waiting for pay-day come first week of the month.

Going mum about the situation, sweeping it under the rug won’t solve anything, but it just might save you the ulcers you are about to develop. Take it as lying in the bed you made yourself.  If you are already in the ditch, you need not wallow in your situation either. Take what you have and work with it. Don’t jump to borrowing yet because it will result to a cycle you might never get out of for the better part of the year.

How you handle your January is how you handle pretty much the whole year and probably your whole life. As it is still January till Friday, *sigh* we might as well choose to take the initiative to plan ahead for January 2015 (if we will get there) or blow it all up celebrating the end of January (too many January's in one paragraph). P.S you can follow through those resolutions- if you have any, becoming a better person is the least you can do for you this year.

“New Year new me” could be most annoying terminology this time of the year. It has grown old because most of us have realized the deal with resolutions. We either have the same old ones we had last year and the other five years or they are a tad too unrealistic.
 The year after I cleared high school, I set absurd resolutions after reading think big and literally dreamt being big and wanted to be big; by force.  When that year came to an end I had done absolutely zilch with my life. I was so disappointed and beat myself up for a long time how unproductive I had been. Then January came and as soon as it was February I had forgotten where I even jotted the resolutions. To be honest I wrote them down and I have never found the paper to date.
Year in year out we do the same things expecting different results. It will never happen.  Personally, I stopped making resolutions. Only targets over a specific and realistic timeline. That way I am able to work on things step by step without much stretching. It’s never that serious and besides we want to have fun while we are at it. Always remember happiness is key and balancing your social and corporate life is an art you should master at all costs.
Reinvention is not overnight business. It is a process. A holistic process if I might add. In all those serious things you jot down do not forget to add fun things from your bucket list. If you want to climb mount wherever, don’t wait until you are 50, because you could've probably developed a lifestyle disease that won’t allow you exposure to such.  Find friends your age (or not) with the same interest and encourage each other to save up for that particular trip if you cannot afford it first-hand.
It is important when each day you work towards what you want to achieve. Piece of advice, never put until tomorrow what you can do today. That is the devil that will pull you back tomorrow and the day after and before you know it, you are far from starting. Do not do things just because everyone is doing them. Do not go to the gym just because so and so is going. If you feel the need to, feel free. The thing you should never forget however is, the only person you should be competing with is yourself. When you keep outdoing yourself, you will finally get where you want.
I don’t want to be like Oprah; having all that success with no one to share it with.  I do not want to be like Tyra or Michelle or whoever. I want to be a better version of me and the only way to do that is reinvent myself every waking day. You've heard life is short before, right? Now do yourself a favour and corner regret this early.