Part.1

BEWARE: The people that will break legs, necks and banks to impress you or make you happy for the moment, are the same ones that break your heart into little, tiny pieces that you won’t know how to fix in the end but just throw them in a bag and walk on hoping that it will work anyway.

 You don’t agree? Where are you from? Pluto? Ok, then you are excused. I strongly believe that those that honestly love us sweep us off our feet without them knowing or trying. They might buy you roses and chocolates all right and you’ll feel loved, not wanted. You get my point though? These are the people who will still ask how you are doing even when you are mad at each other. For instance your mum can be so mad at you but she can’t help but blow up your phone when you decide not to show up by curfew time! Lol, trust me!

I have tales of my own to prove that, and so do you;  be on the lookout for my short novel hundred years from now, coz I’m never gonna tell, coz none of y’all are gonna tell me either. Get over it. These people will never make you a short-time project so that when you ‘jump in with both feet’ you are left wondering what the hell you were on.  I mean, you’ve ever been in a situation where you wonder why someone you knew is so two faced or has changed.  Truth be told. No one has changed. Show is over, reality check! That is who they really are; wolves in lamb skin. Don’t worry. Pick up the pieces and soldier on- chin up. As cliché as it may sound, it’s true that “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”.

Someone updated a random update on Facebook ‘it’s better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all’ and I couldn’t help but agree. And it got me thinking, what’s love and where is it found?  THE WAYS TO SHOW LOVE: Many are the ways to show love. A positive reinforcement stated, a note written, a diaper changed, a meal cooked, a soft word spoken, a tub of dirty clothes washed a pat of reassurance given, a kiss of unrestrained passion shared, a car repaired, a flower sent, a loving spirit lived!- Barbara Johnson.

And with that I see it’s only fit for me to end things on a nice note like that. Brethren, do not be deceived, true love isn’t as stressful and complicated as you think it to be. True love is just that; true. To the bone, hundred years down the line, it doesn’t change.

When you are a child, your whole life is before you. Everything is a dream, including turning ten, going to high school, being a parent and or powerful personality in society.

Prayers are rarely answered the way we would like them while some dreams remain dreams. We sometimes get what we want and at times we are forced to sacrifice between our fantasies and realities.

At times, you can’t have it all and some things might just be too broken to fix. Some should be replaced, while others should be rebuilt: brick by brick. When you are done blaming people and seeing yourself as not good enough, then and only then shall you get over beating yourself and thinking what you could’ve done differently.

We’ve had hard times admitting what we want and somewhere along the way, we lost the dreams we wanted most. But now that we wake up and they are far behind, we ought to keep walking with determination and fearlessness because we don’t want to give up on what we want or even let the chance slip away.

In the real world perception is everything, you cannot afford an excuse.  Show that you have your life in control that’s when people will trust you with theirs. Charity begins at home. It’s time for a new attitude.

WHAT NOW?

Word just in, a college student stabs 19 year old girlfriend because she was cheating on him. With a girl. Wow! What has the world come to?

 It got me thinking, how do people deal with rejection and frustration and all the negative stuff thrown their way? Do they cope? Do they give up the fight? Do they just hang on forever? Do they keep grudges? Well, we all are different and so are the ways of dealing with things. “When we don’t deal with situations, they find a way of dealing with us.” –Joyce Mayer. Whether we notice it or not, we

This are the days seem to have 148hours. You all agree if you have ever had yourself in such a situation. Personally, I think getting over this thing has stages/phases. There’s the shock and anger, the denying, the dawn of truth, the crying and depression, and then it begins to fade. And you look back and laugh at yourself terribly. The ‘what was wrong with me’ phase. The sooner you go through all of them, the better. Moving on means you are a bigger person and you are stronger.

Boys, don’t disagree with me just yet. It’s different with the girls. We are a lot more emotional than you. That makes us more human I guess. Anyway, my point is that when misfortunes befall thee, you gotta stay strong. For yourself.  It could have been worse you know. But life gave you a soft cushion to land on, and you got to get your ass up and find a way out.

When life gives you lemons, you can choose to ask for tequila and salt, make lemonade, or gush it to the floor. It’s all about the choices at the end of the day. The fact that there’s so much to consider when dealing with it. Like if you get violent, you might get locked in (and boy am I scared of cells!!!) or do things you’ll regret. These things can even affect the rest of your lives. Like being locked up for years if you are lucky to escape manslaughter. Violence is not the answer and it’s not worth it you got to agree.

Life goes on and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Life is about testing your strengths and elevating them. Your future awaits and the sad parts don’t last either.

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VIVA LA DIVA.

Even in this day and age women face discrimination and prejudice. Yet, women all over the world continue to work hard to make a difference to alter their lives and the lives of others.

I am all things women. Calm down, of course I’m straight, why is your brow raised? Get your mind off the gutter :D   I am fascinated when i see women coming on strong despite all the responsibilities assigned to them by default. The likes of being the one to run the house and manage the family among other nitty gritty things that appears almost inconspicuous. Not because it’s impossible but because they prove the world wrong.  It may look like nothing, but believe me, that thing is worth a medal.

Recently, I happened to listen to STL’s interview on radio and she said ‘I don’t look at myself as a female rapper, but as a rapper’. Then it suddenly hit me, that’s the problem we bring upon ourselves.  We struggle to reach the top and then we bring along the ‘female’ with the title we worked for. Female MC, female CEO, female doctor, female pilot/driver. No one ever heard of female classes/syllabus, female degrees or female skills.   

I don’t have a particular mentor but I’d like to shine my little spotlight on some women that I find worth the medal. I have to start from home, my mum, my aunt, my sisters and cousins and my girlfriends. Then in Kenya there is The late Waangari Maathai, Martha Karua, Carole Mandi, Beatrice Marshall, Gina Din-Kariuki, Wahu, MuthoniDQ, STL (of course) and Ajuma Naseyana. In Africa my medal and spotlight goes to Lira (S.A), Alek Wek (Sudan), Keko (UG) among others. The rest of the world holds obvious household names like Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth, Michelle Obama, Janice Dickinson (as bad as she is), Tyra Banks, Queen Latifah and Oprah among others.

Women’s day or not, I choose to celebrate all the women making a difference and those doing their thing in male dominated world. Yours truly, the proud feminist.

Given a chance I’d take a side job of being a therapist or psychiatrist/psychologist (whichever doesn’t involve thousand years in college and really huge books. I’d love to know how people think, why they do what they are doing even when they do not know it themselves.

Don’t you think it’s so much fun being able to tell almost exactly what is going on in people’s minds? Almost magical. Innit? I bet you have stumbled upon this phrase if you are on a social site or not too busy to notice but if you haven’t it says “Don’t you think it would be a better world if we could just Google what people felt and thought about us?” I’ll be more than thrilled the day I magically start hearing what people are thinking. Like Mel Gibson in ‘what women want’ But that will happen just when Santa exists and visit’s Africa. Well, let’s focus on what is attainable.

At some point in my high school life I was a peer counsellor and somehow I managed to give advice. Frequently. No, I didn’t have an office and no I wasn’t ‘little miss perfect’ but I could talk people into and out of some things. I couldn’t read minds but I bet being a woman, my guts helped in sensing and solving those problems. Somehow. Have you ever found how easy giving advice is, and you cannot follow the exact advice to save your soul from tears and teeth gnashing?

Well, that’s the world for us. I have had enough falls, troubles and mistakes to last me and my forthcoming lineages. It’s time i learnt. And helped people see the stumbles. Someone once made a joke: why would you repeat a mistake when there’s plenty waiting to be explored? Makes so much sense. After watching ‘necessary roughness’ I fell in love with Dr.Santino’s job. It feels great helping people out. For me at least. That’s when my desires to be a therapist came back.

P.S

I don’t believe in shouting at children or canning them unless it’s gone overboard. Teachers, parents and guardians should really work on talking to them. It’s a good thing when people get their goals straight from when they are really young. It helps people develop self-esteem and the world will be a better place. Don’t you think? Go out and preach if you agree. ;)

By Heart.

I have always been a different person; (or so i thought) from the things I choose to own, to the choices I make in life. I guess the peculiar things are attracted to me. Or me to them, whatever. It works and you get my point.

 As a child I wanted to be a land surveyor. *crickets creek creek* I know, what the hell? No one in my family is that!!!!!  I don’t know what those people do; I never got to do a background check. I don’t care anymore so they can just be. In my opinion if you wake up you feel i want to be a security guard, do just that! I have a feeling you will be happier where your heart is because home is where your heart is.

My friends could say, i want to be a pilot, i want to be an Eng., i want to be a nurse, i want to be a teacher, blah. It was all Greek to me. As a child i was super bright! My siblings called me a genius. As a first grader i could give a fourth grade pupil a run for their money in reading. It mattered to me. I enjoyed reading story books as my siblings did chemistry and maths, bio, geography and physics and what not. Most are my elder.

In primary things were quite smooth and I somehow made it through the canes and canes and more canes. I never got used to them I used to cry so bad each and every time. In class six, something happened and my life changed. We were given a math test without choices and I freaked out, I failed.  Math and i divorced. Anything with digits gave me a hard time from then on, I just didn’t care enough to recover and go back to being good at it. It wasn’t my place anymore. We were over.

In secondary it got worse, id read humongous novels at the backbench, never completed my assignments or homework’s. Puh! Any input would go out with the teacher. Typical teenager. Anyway my point is, i lost interest.  At some point i thought i was being crude to myself but somehow it was a call. :D

By the time i was in my second year in high school, i knew where my heart stood. What i wanted to be. Not for the money, not for the fame, but i knew i was going to be a happy person. Do what your heart wants. You will be happy and that’s what matters most.

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SPARE ME THE ‘FAME’.

I am not a common-stuff (aka Kenya Uniform) person ain’t tryna justify myself or anything but I really do not like having stuff that fananas like nanis. It really pisses me off!!! End of story.

Ok ok. I know ending there won’t make sense because I have to tell you why.  I love myself so much I will not struggle to fit in when I really was born to stand out. I am soon going for my internship and in case there is going to be an interview, I don’t want to sound like I’m from Mars or Venus.  So I am making a point to read newspapers and watch news at least daily. Yes, I have to make a trip to the school library daily. Funny enough it’s actually a good sport, the librarian knows me as the last to leave.  I am equally surprised.

My story is, I saw this chick with a phone like mine!!! I know I’m not that special or own anything that looks customized or anything. But my heart sank! I really hope that the ‘torch’ I have won’t be as common as an Ideot coz I honestly do not know what I will do. Saving that for later, I also noticed I don’t like being noticed for all the wrong reasons or for a season. ;) That’s just me. Then, i have to keep myself from the tongue-lashers and the ‘Google-search’ of this institution. Trust me when they start researching about you sweetheart they will know how your brain works.

Result? Avoid groups! I do not say thou shall not have friends but careful what you feed or leash to your ‘besties’. I might be called selfish or an antisocial. That’s better than being a crowd pleaser, I got a life too. Well wishes to my opposition though, thanks for noticing that I am better than twenty of you put together and loving me for my ambition. {*giggles* no diss.}

Other than that, I noticed my fame-phobic habits go deep down to my wardrobe. I am one person who would rather go to an open market and go the whole hog for the just in fashion rather than catwalk into an exhibition and buy things our housie will own three months from now... feel me? In short, spare yourself the seasonal fame and stand out. It feels good. Once you go classy you never go back.

                                       #### J

MY VIEW ABOUT THE NEWS.

I just love the way writers have a way with words. I burst into unexpected laughter when I saw a headline that read ‘Time to tame political prostitution.’ What is political prostitution? I cannot explain, only speculate. People have had enough of the political madness and are going to call it anything that satisfies them. I am however not for them so yeah go ahead.

I support all those civilians killing the lions that are raiding people’s farms and bringing the farmers back to square one. I mean, seriously? Last week was 28 sheep and today 10 goats? Okay. The authorities in charge should have their priorities right. Face the goddamn park!!! Are they going to wait till we don’t have any livestock left? And then the butchers will start selling lion meat, huh? We are bringing this to ourselves. Look into it with wisdom, protocol can be wrong when you don’t know where the problem began. Alternatively they can transfer those animals to the Tsavo and make that land a playground for all we care.

 Some University students got to be kidding. They are going to strike for the zillionth time this year? Do they get paid to do that? Is that their priority? No, wait; do they know what they are doing? They threaten to demonstrate and the ones inciting them already have their lavish apartments and sleek cars rubbing their goatees as they watch you waste your precious opportunities to make your lives. You thought it’s a right? Wait till your faces are vividly displayed on the screens and you have to be expelled.  Anyway, life is full of choices; all you have to do is make sure the one you make is right.

 CCK has wanted to switch off fake handsets since I was born. Isn’t it time? Stop pleasing us. Act! My bad but thanks, we know you are not in office for fun but if you are going to do something stop postponing. It’s annoying just so you know. Like a lazy kid who keeps walking the whole house chanting “I’m going to do the dishes mum, I’m going to do the dishes!” so that they aren’t given anything else to do. Shut those fake phones tonight if you are serious.

Lastly, I would like to ask what Kenya has done to Somalia to deserve these bombs, grenades and threats or who is it that is behind all this? I can’t lie I’m so scared to the blood vessels, half of Nairobi’s population is in the CBD and a quarter of the others pop in and out. Yesterday a nine year old boy died at the bomb scene in Mombasa. He didn’t even have a clue? I know no one deserves to die that’s why I’m worried and afraid.    

The ‘c’ word.

No, it’s not what you are thinking; it’s C for change. Got you! Change can be good but it doesn’t always feel good. Why? It’s not easy to begin with. It is unsettling and terrifying for most of us, but we have to sometimes. Change is constant in all our lives whether we choose to notice it or not. Learn how to embrace it, it’s the most valuable tool in helping you be enthusiastic about the new you.

Changing shouldn’t be rocket science (pun intended) no matter what kind of transition we are going through. You only attract the things you have energy for, that’s why you ought to have positive beliefs about change, life and yourself. An optimistic attitude is the cornerstone of change. You may not have chosen the change that is taking place in your life but you get to choose your beliefs around it.

With change, something good will always be dragged into your life. All you need to do is hold on, be resilient and persistent. Being alive, we all survived some ‘worst moment’ in our past. There’s a truth in that; you can handle much than you think. We all must know that fear walks hand in hand with change. Ignoring it won’t make it go away. Admit it. Fear, guilt and impatience are there to get your attention and direct you to more positive ones. The faster you accept or choose change, the less the pain and hardship will be. In that change period, surround yourself with people who can help and have an optimistic mindset and create an environment that supports change.

There are practical basics of change by Arianne de Bonvoisin the change guru: that can help you move that can help you move that mountain:

               Don’t forget to seed: sleep well, eat well, exercise and drink water. Be healthy during adjustment times. Every little thing feels more overwhelming when you are hungry or tired. Keep moving: coping with change can leave you feeling frustrated, take a walk, jog or skip rope. Exercise is a mood booster and clears your head.                                                                             Unload weak and negative thoughts: put your anxieties down on paper, helps you come to terms with changes and get through them quicker.                                                                                    Create a ‘wall of change’: put notes and pictures that make you feel excited about change. It could be a photo of someone who inspires you or an empowering quote, verse, or even a word. It’s easier to keep an eye on your goals when they’re literally spread out in front of you.

Don’t bite more than you can chew and I won’t dish out more than you can take. Take action, have a plan and take care of yourself. Change is good. Take it one day at a time, you’ll get there.

FOOD ENOUGH.

Music is food for the soul, without it we would be starving our souls. Just like one cannot stay long enough without food. Where would we be without music anyway?  Everyone somehow loves music, the only difference being the genres that make us tick. Think of a world without music. The thought of it brings depression. Automatically.

 I once saw a t-shirt graffiti that read “music is a weapon. The only difference is that when it hits, you don’t feel the pain.” That was creative enough to open up my mind to a million avenues of this vast field. There are those of us who like either soft and low, hard, fast, slow or just loud music. We don’t react the same in situations, which is why you will find people loving different genres.

Music is more specific about what it expresses than words written about those expressions could ever be. That music has the power to express, convey and bring up powerful emotions without question. However, the issue of music's moral and ethical power, and how that power affects individuals and societies, is one that receives very little attention in our world today. Ancient cultures held strong beliefs in the moral and ethical power of music and as such it was very important for artists within those cultures to exercise a certain moral and ethical responsibility in their creative activities. 

Music has so much therapeutic effect on all who are associated with it. They say garbage in garbage out. The kind of music has effects on our behavioural change. We all ought to listen to our favourite tunes often, this way we subconsciously change. A research was once conducted on how music affects people or rather animals. They put rats in cubicles and played different genres of music in each and on different volumes. They found out that the rat exposed to soft  the one music was calm and relaxed but the ones that were in loud fast music were wild and fierce.  

This music too affects their makers. As the musician constantly adjusts decisions on tempo, tone, style, rhythm, phrasing and feeling, they trains the brain to become incredibly good at organizing and conducting numerous activities at once. Approximately 90% of the brain's motor control capabilities are devoted to the hands, mouth and throat. With this in mind, experts say that the fine skilfulness involved with playing a violin can exercise the entire brain and stimulate general intelligence.

Music also extends its mercies and blessings to children as musical training has been found to improve how the brain processes the spoken word. This finding could lead to improving the reading ability of children who have reading problems. These people who take keen interest on music are more self-confident and better able to express their ideas. The skills gained through sequential music instruction, including discipline and the ability to analyze, solve problems, communicate and work cooperatively, are vital for success in the current workplace.

Music is also used for different purposes. For one, music can be very therapeutic, one can be feeling low but you just turn up your stereo and in a few minutes things change and it’s certainly a better world. Sometimes one can be bubbly and all but a song comes on and they are torn apart to tears. This simply means with time we get connected to what we put our ears through and through and the lyrics of the songs and the beats work magic.

Through another research carried out in the US, students at risk of not successfully completing their high school educations show that arts participation motivates them to stay in school. The arts create a supportive environment that promotes constructive acceptance of criticism and one in which it is safe to take risks. With music in schools, students connect to each other greater friendship, fewer fights, less racism and reduced use of hurtful sarcasm. High school students who participate in band or orchestra report the lowest lifetime and current use of all drugs, sex and other unruly behaviour.

Music has made the world a better place. Now, people are employed courtesy of music and have food on their table. Without it, we would forget the radio presenters, disc jockeys, radio studios or even owners. Things would be plain like a church with only recitals to make or a wedding with only vows and speeches. People get to relax after a long week of hard work and unwind merrily with drinks and good music.

Despise not, the good thing that came long ago that has helped us pass information and made a change in most of our lives. Go on and plug those earpieces in and keep that world on the move.